Can you pinpoint the time when you stopped being a calm, collected mother? Maybe the point in time where your normal mom voice transformed into a loud shriek?
I remember being so sad when I had to be away from my kids. Wanting to do everything I could with them and cuddle ANYTIME they would let me.
Somewhere, around the time I was pregnant with my second, I started to become this crazy lady that always had the mom look on. Too busy to cuddle. Too tired to really do anything. And SO STRESSED, all the time.
It didn’t really dawn on me that I had changed as a mother until my youngest was born. I realized that my parenting style had taken a wrong turn somewhere in the last 2 years and for those two years I’ve been struggling and stressing about it.
The Say Yes Challenge
When I started the challenge it was my small attempt to steer myself back in the right direction but honestly, after my month away, I’m stuck right in the same place I was. I feel like I’m pressing on the gas but my tires are just spinning and nothing is moving.
I take my kids out more but I have sunk back into spending too much time on my computer or phone, yelling and saying no to things that I shouldn’t.
I know I always say this, but it’s really stressing me out!
I want my kids to have the mom that bakes cookies, plays with them on the jungle gym, and that all of their friends want to be around. I WANT that!
The only thing stopping me
I know the only thing stopping me from being THAT mom, is me. But I’m so unsure of how to achieve, what seems like, this incredibly unattainable goal!
When I feel down about my parenting, I always find myself coming back to a blog that I happened to just stumble upon about a year ago. Every time I read it, my eyes just leak like crazy. I bawl like a tiny baby and am so inspired to try my hardest.
I went back to it again. This is ALWAYS the post that I gravitate to first. Rachel is such an inspiration to me as a mother and a blogger.
Laying in bed at night is just that time when people are questioning everything about their lives, making plans to change, and forgetting absolutely everything before they wake up the next morning. Of course, that’s what I was doing. Laying in bed, reading everything A Mother Far From Home had to offer about WHY I am such an angry, impatient mother. I did not forget though.
Did I do it?
I made my goal, to not get so angry about stupid things, that night and the next morning I was ready to achieve it.
It did not happen.
It was fine up until about naptime. I put my youngest down, the exact same way I do every day, and he stood in his crib for a good 20 minutes alternating between whining and screaming. My calmness broke. My daughter was just-a-talking, he was screaming and I was trying SO hard to take some notes for the blog and get my daughter going on school work.
My resolve was gone, I was angry. Again.
I was disappointed. I was only able to last about 6 hours before cracking.
Being so inspired from A Mother Far From Home, I decided I needed to change some things. Again.
Three things really stood out to me.
1. I take things personally.
When my kids do something wrong I tend to think that they are doing it to anger me. To get on my nerves and just push my buttons, in general. But, in reality, kids don’t really think like that.
2. We have rules in this house that are kind of ridiculous. Most days, I don’t even know what some of them are.
3.We expect a lot. Our kids are smart but I know that we expect too much of them. I think that’s why we expect so much of them.
My goals are a short list this month.
- Make a list of the rules we actually want our kids to follow and be consistently applying them to daily life.
- When I get angry at something, turn around and breath.
- Do more with the kids.
- Bedtime Bible reading, every night.
Just a few.
I hope to see some you on social media. Join me and let me know I’m not alone!.
Don’t forget to use #TheSayYesChallenge and #PinterestPerfectMom.
I want to hear some of your struggles and triumphs, leave a comment and tell a story.
Tips are always good, too. 😉